Sunday, March 8, 2009

The Man Skirt.

I was lazily staring out the window on the bus the other day, and I caught sight of something that instantly generated a smile across my getting-paler-by-the-day face.

Now, I am no stranger to men in skirts. I have spent enough time in West Hollywood to familiarize myself with that concept. I am a stranger to straight men in skirts (sorry, Scots). Not just straight men, manly men. Men who could pass as lumberjacks given the right attire. But thanks to my recent move to the Pacific Northwest, I have been introduced to this fabulous phenomenon known as the Utilikilt.

Let me further define the term “straight men”. Picture a man in his 40s. He covers his slightly balding head with a baseball cap (usually proudly displaying the logo of either the Seahwaks or Mariners) and covers his impressive beer belly with a t-shirt of overall inconsequence. For cold weather wear, throw on a leather bomber-style jacket. Now one would typically picture the aforementioned, waist-up outfit to be paired with a nice pair of Levis. But no, there appears to be another option: the Utilikilt. Throw on some nice thick wool socks and a pair of Tevas, and you’ve got yourself an outfit my friend (the socks and sandals combo is a whole other topic).

Now let me describe the ever sexy Utilikilt. This fine piece of woven leg covering offers the modesty of a short with added breathability for the “goods”. It combines the airy features of a kilt (pleats included) with the unprecedented storage of a cargo pant (excessive pockets for the win). It comes in colors such as khaki, olive green, or the ever-popular camouflage (for hunting, of course). There is even a tuxedo version of the Utilikilt for your most formal occasions: weddings, communions, company holiday parties, etc.

So men of the PNW rejoice! If you want to flaunt your Scotish heritage but hate your clan's tartan, the Utilikilt is for you. If you have always wanted to wear a skirt, but are afraid you will lose some of your man cred, the Utilikilt is for you. If you want to show off your gams, but hate your legs to be separated by any sort of material, the Utilikilt is for you.

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